Archive for April, 2015

Uncle Dad

On Mother’s Day last year, a woman in Missouri received a DNA kit from Ancestry.com as a gift. She grew up in a loving family where everyone took care of her. It wasn’t until she attended school did she realize everyone but her knew about their father. She had loving Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Mother, and cousins. But she didn’t have a Dad. She would ask her Mom but the only answer was it isn’t important.
So on Mother’s Day last year, the forty five year old woman swabbed her cheeks, filled out the paper work, and placed the package in the mail. Then she waited and waited. She was hopeful but very skeptical this would work. Finally, the day came when her results were in. She looked and discovered she had a “close” relative.
I was her “close” relative. As is part of my morning routine, I walked upstairs with a fresh cup of coffee to check my emails and Facebook messages. A couple of years earlier, my wife and I decided to also have our DNA done. We were horribly disappointed. We had specific things we wanted answers to and neither of us got a hint to those answers. So I was doubtful when I saw I had a message on Ancestry regarding a DNA connection.
When I read the message, red flags began waving. She lived in the Ozarks. She was conceived during the fall following the Summer of Love. At that time, I had just received my discharge from the Navy. I was working a night shift in Springfield, Missouri…in the Ozarks. While in the back of my mind, I wondered if this was some sort of internet scam. I never heard of the woman who told her name. Nevertheless, I answered her.
We instantly bonded and became close internet friends. After exchanging pictures from that time, I didn’t recognize her mother but 45 years is a long time. She asked her mother if I was familiar and she didn’t recognize me either. We didn’t know if “close relative” meant we were first cousins, brother/sister, uncle/niece, or father/daughter. We decided to test our DNA with a company that specialized in paternity testing. As we waited, we told each about our families and what history I knew of ours.
Kristie heard first from the company because it was in her name. They told her they were 98.4% positive I was her father. They had a glitch with one marker but that sometimes happens they explained. She called. We were both delighted. At first, it was awkward telling my wife she had a daughter for certain. She couldn’t understand how I could have a child and not remember the mother. But she was delighted as well. After three sons, she had a daughter and four grown granddaughters to go shopping with.

kristie and IThe very next evening, she called back. This time, I thought she had been crying. The DNA Company didn’t like having a glitch so they used more markers and ran the test again. They told her I was not her father. They were very positive I was her uncle. While he doubted it very much because he was so young, my brother sent his DNA in also. We finally met half way between Ohio and Missouri. As she and her husband were driving to our meeting place, she got a phone call from her Dad confirming he was 99.9% her father.
And that is how I became an Uncle Dad last year.

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We in the United States are apparently cured of our evil ways. We can shave our handlebar mustaches. We can burn our black suits and top hats. We are more pure than the forties and fifties. Our righteous leaders in Washington DC have lead us to drink from the fountain of virtue.
Price Fixing: This morning Yahoo only found one price fixing trial going on in the United States. The Toledo Blade reported about a price fixing suit by three companies against manufactures of polyurethane foam. Sill I am amazed how all the different gas stations and grocery stores raise and lower prices at the same time.
Weapons Smuggling: With a world overflowing with international terrorists, not one person has been caught smuggling in a gun into the United States. In fact, the last news about gun smuggling was the blotched “Fast and Furious”. The United States Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives between 2006 and 2011 did their own gun running and got caught.
Insider Trading: This morning, there were no trials nationwide (that I could find) going on for insider trading. I am sure no lobbyist or lawmaker ever exchanges hints.

Numbers: States solved the illegal lotteries that took advantage of the poor by taking them over themselves. Now only states, and not crime syndicates, are taking advantage of the poor.
Bunco: Until states and Native American tribes took over, police had bunco squads that raided bars for having gambling parlors.
Money Laundering: Again, no trials are going on in United States for money laundering. While corporations and very wealthy can move their money at will, it is all legal now that they bought Congress and State governments.


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In the early 1950’s a woman loaded her sample case of Stanley products in her car one morning. At the end of the day, she came home with a new son. This is a true story. Yet, it is not my story to tell. I think it is an exciting mystery that is slowly being solved by the son’s daughter. In God’s given time, it is her story to tell.
His adopted parents took extremely good care of him and his sisters. He had a wonderful life. It was only after he sadly died in his thirties, that his adopted mother finally told the story. And then, only after she was caught in several discrepancies about her son.
Apparently, it began one morning as she drove into a nearby desert town. At one of her morning door to door stops, she discovered a young, underage woman had just given birth. The new mother was being yelled at and threatened by a very drunk, angry, and disappointed father. Trying to be a mediator and settle the new born child’s grandfather down, the Stanley saleswoman failed. His last slurred words as he stormed from the home were if the baby was there when he returned, he was going to kill him.
For this reason, the saleswoman and new mother agreed that the baby needed a better home. Whatever agreement they made, it lasted a life time. When her daughters returned home from school, they were introduced to their new brother. They were told neither to mention their brother at school nor to discuss it outside of home. Her husband came home from work and readily agreed with the woman. The son was their son. He was their son for life.

Several years later the family was transferred again to a new state. At this time a family doctor helped. The family had a false birth certificate that was never questioned. The baby grew up, married and had his family, and sadly died at an early age.
In my opinion, the story is very likely true with one exception. I think everyone beforehand that when the baby came, it would be given to the Stanley saleswoman and her husband.
Fast forward to the present, the son has an adult daughter who longs to discover her missing family. With DNA, she discovered her real biological grandfather. He is a sweet and gentle man with a terrific and embracing family. The search continues to locate her real grandmother who sacrificed so much so her son would have a better life.

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